September 17 2018

The full lunch has gone up to $15.  This week it was beef hash or swiss chicken with spice cake for dessert.  President for now Brad Mettam called on Pat Folkins to lead the flag salute.  Lynn our newest Blue Badger gave the invocation.  J Warren Hockaday texted that he is now cancer free but still needs to regain his strength. Keith Crossley is still recovering from his stroke. John Winzler is in the hospital.

Brad's signature vest

Raffle tickets are available for the Foundation dinner Sat. 9/20. Patrick Cleary was named Rotarian of the week.  Pedals for Polio, a fund-raising bike ride from Ft. Bragg to Lakeport will be held October 2^nd.  $100 donation gets you a riding shirt made from polypropylene.

Our presenter for the day was Nick Wilczek, head of the Humboldt county Library.  He said, “every job is a service job”.  He used to be in the hospitality business.  His last job was at the Arcata branch library.  The Humboldt County has 24 branches and a bookmobile. Last year they circulated 984,000 books.  He had a quote:  Bad libraries build collections-good libraries build services, and great libraries build communities.  You can order books from the internet at Zip books for a dollar and return them to the library after you’ve re read them. If you have a library card you can go to overdrive.com and get e-books for your kindle.

September 10, 2018

Lunch menu was pork bolus or deep-fried cod accompanied by Mashed potatoes and salad bar. Carly Robbins gave the invocation. It was noted that J. Warren Hockaday was still undergoing treatment for his illness.  Keith Crossley is recovering from a stroke and is resting at home. Klark Swan reminded us of Foundation dinner North happening October 21^st.  Raffle tickets are available-$20 each or six for 100 dollars.

 

New Rotarian Nick Wilczek was introduced.  He is the new director of the Humboldt County Library. He wasn’t given a Red Badge. “he’ll just have to make his own” said President Brad Mettam.

 

Our presenter was William Wade, exchange student newly returned from a year in Belgium. He said “I left Belgium but Belgium will never leave me” His first host family were Muslims from Morocco. The country needed coal miners, so they asked the Moroccans to emigrate.  His favorite foods in country were couscous, Belgian fries, waffles, and chocolate. He visited every part of the country using cheap bus and train tickets. He attended local schools but found it difficult to understand the teachers because he spoke little French.  He had 12 different classes which rotated throughout the week.  He travelled to Paris, Luxembourg, and the Netherlands. Now he’s back and needs a full-time job so contact him if you know of one.

Meeting adjourned early.

August 27 2018

Today’s menu featured lasagna and barbequed ribs with salad bar and chocolate cake.

Carly Robbins called the meeting to order as president pro tem in the absence of Brad Mettam. Nathan Nilsen gave the invocation.  Then Red badger Anthony Stubbs was asked to give his craft talk.  He’s been a CPA for 12 years and has had his red badge for three of those years.  He has a great job and a wonderful family or vice versa.  Rick Littlefield commented on the Fire Relief Fund.  To raise funds someone had donated 6 Giants tickets for the game against the Padres on Wednesday September 26^th. Bidding was lack-luster and they went for $150.  Our Presenter was Kenny Spain from the Humboldt County Economic Development Division.  He talked about the Headwaters Fund and how it wasn’t raising as much money as it used to.  22 Million is designated for economic development.  For more information on meetings, come to the meetings.

August 13, 2018

Turkey rolls highlighted the lunch selection. Sausage and potatoes came in second. Don Leonard led the flag salute.  John Fullerton gave the invocation. Brad Mettam presided.  Ken Stodder mentioned that the Red Sox were 85 and 35 this season. The club got a plaque from the Coast Guard. Mathew Owen announced a Done In A Day project at Carson Park this coming Saturday-pulling weeds.  Toys For Tots kicks off its campaign this month with a dinner at Blue Lake Casino. Rick Littlefield asked for more donations to the fire relief fund.  They have raised $12,000 so far.

 

Our speaker Rob Homelund oversees community and economic development for Eureka. He said we only built 8 houses in Eureka this last year.  6 the year before.

He blames outdated zoning laws adopted in the 1960’s.  These require so much parking per resident that high density housing is not feasible. He also said that they are in the process of creating 19 murals in the city, and they’ll be done this weekend.

 

Lots more exciting things happened but you missed them. Come by and have lunch.

 

 

August 6 2018

Brad Mettam presided, wearing a colorful vest.  Nancy Dean gave the invocation.  She said that Keith Crossley is in the hospital after suffering a stroke. Past president Bruce Smith held up a Times-Standard picture of Brad and demanded compensation.  Don Leonard asked when he could trade in the gold coin he won last week for real money.

Former exchange student from Denmark Martin Grieve (2009-10) returned for a visit and brought pictures of his apprenticeship as an electrical technician.  He bought a house in the country and 100 acres of farm land.  Gregg Gardiner said that Toys For Kids now serves 8000 children.  They just bought 37 pallets of toys at a toy show.

 

Our speaker was CHP Public information Officer Paul Craft.  He said that response times were slow because they only have 30 officers to cover the entire county. They also help out during the fires- and give talks to organizations like ours.

July 16th 2018

Dennis Hunter pauses to reflect.

Our new President Brad Mettam opened the meeting from the opposite end of the room 30 feet away from the windows.  The meeting had relocated but the food hadn’t changed. This week’s lunch was stuffed peppers or fried cod, scalloped potatoes, salad bar and blueberry cake.  Dennis Hunter gave the invocation.  Jim Davis had passed away.  J Warren Hockaday was in the hospital. 

 

Brad gave Mike Martin a hard time about his Rotary badge, the last of its kind, it is square and made out of plastic. Some time in the 90’s Rotary came up with a new badge design but it never stuck.  Bruce Smith got his past president’s pin.  Brad introduced his new board of directors.  Pat Folkins gave a eulogy for Jim Davis.  He was a Rotarian for over 40 years.  Until his retirement in 1993 He was head of the Forest service and superintendent of Six Rivers National Forest. Services will be held on July 26^th at Christ Episcopal church.

Matthew Owen invited volunteers to paint the Boy’s and Girl’s club on the 21^st-one of his Done in A Day Projects.  Our exchange student Lila  auctioned off some succulents to raise money for her travels.  Want to buy a coastie a steak dinner?  Donate $25.  It happens on August 6^th. 

 

Christian Hill introduced our speaker.  Dr. Roberta Ruskin-Hawk is the first female CEO of St. Joseph Hospital. She looks forward to the challenge.  If you want to know more about what she said, slip me a fiver at the next meeting And I’ll tell you.

Hank Ingham

June 25, 2018

Burl 6-25-2018

Today was the traditional de-bunking of the President.  It was quite a show.  Here’s the actual plan as penned by Matthew Owen.

12:00 noon

An ambulance (Bruce thinks it’s a limousine) with sirens howling pulls up to Bruce Smith’s Premiere Financial office (725 6th Street – Eureka).

 

The EMTs go into the office yelling for “Bruce Smith”.

 

“We had a 9-1-1 call for Bruce Smith!”

 

They locate Bruce Smith in his office, strap him onto a gurney, place him in the ambulance and drive him out to the Elk’s Lodge with the sirens wailing.

12:15 pm

We open the de-bunking meeting with Bruce Smith being escorted to the front of the room still strapped into the gurney.

 

Past-president Dr. Kim Bauriedel comes to the front of the room with a heart in his hand.

 

“President Bruce, you started your year with a heart attack. Frankly we were all were thrilled when we heard that, as we didn’t think you had a heart.”

 

Kim will go on with more about the Rotary Club of Eureka having a heart.

 

 

12:20 pm

Past-president Matthew Owen will play a YouTube video of the highlights (blank screen) of Bruce Smith’s year in Rotary and show a photo of the inspiration of Bruce Smith as our Rotary Club President.

 

Matthew will announce that Rotary Club will be black next week for Martin Luther King Day, but will be white again the following week for Columbus Day.

 

 

12:25

Past-president Dennis Hunter will talk about the excitement from President Bruce Smith’s Rotary project of the year, “Empowering the Next Generation”.

 

“It’s been a year now, so the Rotary Club Board of Directors and the entire club membership would like to know what “Empowering the Next Generation” project really is.”

 

“Will everyone who has had or will have a birthday in 2018, please stand up to be recognized. For every birthday in the room, we are going recognize Bruce Smith for $10, as our Rotary bank account needs to be replenished after a year of Bruce Smith.”

 

 

12:30

Past-president Lane Strope will present President Bruce Smith an envelope from Rotary District Governor Bob Rogers with all of the awards the Rotary Club of Eureka won this past year. The envelope will be blank.

 

Lane will then talk about his thoughts of a year with President Bruce Smith.

 

 

12:35

Past-president Hank Ingham will share his words of wisdom of a year with President Bruce Smith.

 

“President Bruce Smith always shared his words of wisdom with us. Here’s some back to you Bruce.  Here are some pearls of wisdom that didn’t quite make it to the meetings

 

“A fool and his money-Hey, that’s our ideal client”

 

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is to understand our fee structure”

 

A penny saved is 8 tenths of  a penny earned: results are not guaranteed and subject to market fluctuations.

 

Bruce occasionally used parables .   this is the parable of the financial adviser the client and the bag chickens.  The advisor met with the client and noticed client had a bag.  “what’s in the bag ? he asked.  “Chickens!” said the client.  I like chickens said the advisor, I could grow them for you.”  OK said the client “If you can guess how many chickens are in this bag I’ll give you both of them!”

The counselor pondered a moment and said “Three?”

The moral don’t let your financial advisor count your chickens .

 

Another chicken story.

 A client brought a hen into his financial advisor.  “I’d like you to take care of this hen for me and give me the eggs to me  to eat when I retire” No problem said the investment counselor.  He took the hen, pulled out a hatchet from his desk desk drawer and cut its head off.  What did you do that for?” said the client.  “Oh, that’s my fee the fund is front loaded”  

The moral: quit while you ‘re  a head

 

I’m not saying Bruce is bad at his job…
…but when I went into his office and asked him to check my balance, he tried to push me over

 

Bruce saw a bank that said if offered 24 Hour Banking.” But he didn’t go in He didn’t have that much time.

 

.

Bruce’s wife had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to Bruce , Just think, we are ten dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand. Good, Bruce quickly replied. Wash it again

 

 

I asked Bruce to buy IBM stock and he asks me for the ticker symbol.

 

Just got some good news from Bruce
…he told me I can retire at 62 and live comfortably  for 11 minutes.

 

Speaking of money…

 

 Jay Reed, Rotary Club Treasurer will talk about how the year started off in the black with plenty of funds… and now we’re in the red.

 

This may have something to do with President Bruce Smith taking a few months off in the middle of his Presidency to go to Uzi-back-istan to marry off his daughter. Rumors started circulating that hundreds of thousands of dollars went missing from the Rotary account about this same time.

 

12:45

EPD Captain Stephens comes into the room and announces he has a warrant for the arrest of Bruce Smith for embezzlement and financial impropriety.

 

Captain Stephens handcuffs Bruce Smith and takes him out to the EPD cruiser for processing at EPD headquarters.

 

After fingerprints and mug shots, Bruce Smith is driven back to Premiere Financial